Bereavement
Bereavement is distressing, but a common experience, basically we all are going to die. Sooner or later most of us will suffer the death of someone close to us, if they have left us loads of money and stuff, in their wills, then the blow is softened somewhat. Grieving takes place after any sort of loss (your wallet, car keys, virginity etc..) and a whole succession of feelings come to light. Do not hurry grieving, savour it, as time passes the fierce pain will begin to fade, so stick a fork in your leg. For many, the sense of loss never goes away - but the future can start to appear brighter than before, so follow the light.
Remember - We all react to bereavement differently, especially if the bereaved is you (that really is a downer). Most people will simply feel stunned, or dead, not believing it has actually happened - a sense of numbness, all down one side, then the other, even if the death was expected (like seeing the bus coming at you). There may be a yearning, even anger toward some people who, from the viewpoint of the loved-ones, did not do enough to prevent the loss (the bus driver could have swerved). Some people will feel guilty they didn't do or say things before the loss (shouting 'lookout! a bus').
How Can Friends & Family Help?
A big party, with loads of drink, getting you laid normally cheers you up, they can take you along to a good film, or to places where happy things take place.
If you don't know what to say, be honest and say so. Then go away and let some expert take over. Busy bodies who want to interfere are everywhere, so make use of them, if you haven't got the time, there is bound to be some poor deluded sod who can make the time.
Practical help with cleaning, shopping & getting the car serviced may be required, get them to do these things for you, and it will soon take their minds off of their problems. This sort of therapy helps you more than them.
Festive occasions & anniversaries (not only of the death but also birthdays & weddings) are particularly painful times when friends & family should make a special effort to be around. Even if they live in Australia, the other side of the world, they should make the effort to attend even the most trivial of family gatherings.
Help From Your Doctor
Family doctors are great to talk to about concerns, even if they aren't of a medical nature - also religious organisations may be valuable, but try to avoid giving them donations, as they are generally 'money sponges'.
Sleepless nights may go on for so long as to become a serious problem, so go to sleep and avoid them. The doctor may then prescribe a few days supply of sleeping tablets, these taste horrible, as all medicines should. If the sleeplessness continues, depression may set in and anti-depressent tablets may be required.
For more help you may like to contact anyone who will listen
The Samaritans (24 hour) - (0345) 909090
or
Local - (01483) 50 55 55
CRUSE Bereavement Care - (0181) 332 7227 |
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