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Why all the fuss about alcohol, what is it all about?
Well basically you drink alcohol to get drunk, that's all there is to it really. Regions vary, the English, when drunk, will try every way they can to disguise the fact, a small trip and they will look for a crack in the pavement that tripped them. Where as a scotsman that trips will laugh, shouting I'm drunk, that what I've been drinking for, indicating that scotsmen enjoy drinking, which is the way it should be. Of course you will be told to drink in moderation, but what if, like in the old days of America, they went and banned alcohol? The consequences would be awful, we would have to make our own illegal booze, furtively cooking up an evil smelling brew, powerful enough to make you blind, you could be arrested and thrown into jail and made to be the bitch of a 'six foot seven inch giant' named Marion. There would be bad points as well, too numerous to mention. So drink by all means while you still are able to, do it in moderation if you wish, but go all out to enjoy yourself, that is what alcohol is for, to be enjoyed, in the company of friends and family. 2. If hangovers become frequent, alter the drinks you are having. 3. Sip drinks slowly - don't gulp! You will be thirsty waiting for slower drinkers to finish. 4. Don't drink on an empty stomach! Eat a lovely fry up first, or bags of crisps. 5. Don't get into the habit of drinking EVERY day - drink in the evening instead. 6. Don't suggest drink as the solution to someone emotionally upset, suggest they get laid. 7. As a host, offer non-alcoholic drinks as well, it will save you loads of money. 
Depression and alcohol have long been linked by the expression; to 'drown our sorrows' - so make sure you drink enough to actually drown them, only a small drink or two will not do, go on a complete bender, you will thank yourself in the future for it. Alcohol is a depressant of the brain, reducing your ability to face problems and releasing inhibitions, so use that to your best advantage, you're worth it. Alcohol helps conversation flow, but releases powerful feelings of self-hatred and disgust; producing angry, aggressive behaviour, so only talk to people smaller than yourself.Using alcohol to keep you going and cope with life is a very short-lived solution, but the benefits are rich and well worth exploring; the effects of alcohol soon wear off, so drink again as soon as possible, if drinking becomes routine, think positive, a routine is a good thing, you know where you are. This drug, much like others, produces tolerance so that a larger and larger dose is required to achieve the desired effect - so take lots of money, or sell your body for cheap tawdry sex, to gain more money for booze, you're worth it. Hangovers are depressing experiences - so drink more to avoid them. Don't awake anxious, jittery - simply feeling awful, have another drink. If you were sensible, the effects may last a day - if things get worse, sexual impotence may become a problem! So get in a supply of Viagra.  You don't have to do this on your own! Set yourself targets, and miss them, involve a friend or your partner, we like to drink with friends. If withdrawal symptoms are severe, drink some more, consult your doctor for advice, he may suggest medical alcohol. Changing habits can be a challenge but their are great rewards. You'll feel drunker, less alert, friends will treat you better because they can bum drinks and fags off you. If you need further help contact:
0891 numbers are premium rate and will cost you a fortune
Mixed together in a massive bowl should be enough to start any party off on the right foot. |
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